My mind talks too much!

Back in post #1 (I know! MONTHS ago) I talked about the little voice in your head. You know the one. It's probably saying, "Voice in my head? I don't have a voice in my head. That's for crazy people!" to you right now! Anyway, the point is that MINE DOESN'T EVER STFU!

Tonight was the first night of spending 15 minutes alone repeating the same phrases and beliefs to help me focus on my career and make it a priority in my thought, and it was nearly impossible to get the voice in my head to stop trying to talk over the projected voice! UGH!

I tried talking out loud. I tried talking LOUDLY in my head. I tried to close my eyes and clear everything away. I tried to strip away each thing that was there. I tried yelling at the voice in my head (I think it mocked me back like a sassy 5yr old girl). Basically, as I sat there trying to focus, my mind was going 100mph.

MY MIND:
You should be working instead of sitting in your room talking to a wall. What if someone saw you? This is pretty silly. Do you even believe what you're saying? Do you believe this will really work? You should be over at the computer getting your website noticed. You know what would work better, try this! Has it been 15 minutes yet? How do you know if it's 15 minutes if your phone is off and you didn't look at the clock? You want to look at the clock don't you? etc. etc.

I even tried closing my eyes, picturing my most peaceful place possible, which was a tee box on a beautiful green golf course, and as soon as I pictured a tee box, every possible hazard or obstacle automatically followed. There was a 100 yard canyon to carry, with water all along the left side, water along the right, and trees in the middle of the fairway. You think a psychologist would have an opinion on why that happened? Something like, "This symbolizes how you only see the obstacles in the path to your ultimate goal." That's how I saw it at least. Maybe I should have thought of sitting at the river drinking a beer!

This kind of upset me because that's exactly the opposite of how I'm trying to think. There are no obstacles, just opportunity. But hey, Rome wasn't built in a day! I kept on truckin' and continued repeating for another 5 straight minutes or so. I know this will be a process, but eventually I'll be able to remove the obstacles, see the fairway and stripe a 300 yarder down the middle!

In other news, I spoke with Scott today about our website and the changes I want to make, so progress with the business is in motion. I am going to post this and do a solid hour of work at least and continue thinking positive thoughts!

Oh and for the record, I have not spent a dime on alcohol for 21 straight days now. I have a lot more money, I have more energy and I'm on a somewhat normal sleep schedule now too. Amazing. OH, and getting buzzed only takes ONE PBR now! haha

Budget of $10/day is still being followed fairly strictly, too! LIFE IS GOOD!