What did you do? I am going to ask myself this question every day and post the answer here. What did I do to better my life today? It sounds selfish, because it is, but this is the whole point of this blog and what I'm trying to do; better myself. If I'm not happy with ME, I can never make someone else happy. If I'm not responsible enough for myself, how can I be responsible enough for a relationship or kid?
So starting today, what did I do? I bought clear nail polish for my consistently split thumbnail, and sprinklers and weed-n-feed to help Goal #8 Nurse the house back to strength. I stuck to my budget and spent only $0 on unnecessary things, still eating the leftovers from last night (Sam's club pizza purchase. Spent $14.62 yesterday on lunch, dinner and 3 Newcastles. An average of $7.31/day) I made a GREAT decision to stop purchasing alcoholic beverages!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
$500 wasted!
I fell. I fell hard. Right back to where I was before I started this whole thing. And I'm pissed! I am so upset with myself I've felt like vomiting every time I think about it, and I'm forcing myself to think about it over and over so it will hopefully sink in.
I've been thinking about how to describe this little episode over the weekend; vacation? mental lapse? reward? when there is really only one thing to describe it as: IR-RE-F-ING-SPONSIBLE!!
I'm not going to catch up on the last weeks money spent and whatnot, because it's so tiny compared to what I spent over the course of 4 days. So here it is:
I spent about $477 from Friday night to Tuesday evening. Thanks to Marissa, this total was held short of $500 (she paid for a Starbucks and movie for me. Thanks ;) ).
Here's the rundown, and you won't want to miss what I'm going to do next!
Yup. I went gambling. Yup, a lot of that is drinks. It's not that I haven't wanted to hit the casino since this thing has started, because I have, it's that it was 3:30 am after some drinks and good times with friends and I was feeling lucky. Oh, and I had ZERO will power! No excuse, but that's it plain and simple. DUMB!
About $200 of all that was spent on drinks too! How ridiculous! Granted, I had a great time this weekend, but at what cost? The interest on my student loans and credit cards?
Here it comes. Mom, you can stop worrying now.
I am not going to BUY one single drink of alcohol for at least August. wow...
Sounds so simple, yet I know it will be tough. I'm not giving up on it altogether, but I will not spend a dime on it for all of August. This isn't a goal either. It is a statement.
I'm sure you can think of other areas to save money, but my logic is this: I spend a lot of money on it, it's expensive and it makes me spend even more money. Simple.
I'd be lying if that were the only reason I'm doing this though. I've sat here doing this blog, thinking about all the things I want to do and should do and I've had, oh I'd say 'average' success with them. A few victories here, a few setbacks there. This is something that I know will be difficult beyond what I can even comprehend, which sounds so STUPID as I'm typing, but (double negative alert) if I can't NOT do something, what makes me think I can ADD MORE things TO do?
This will be an ultimate test of will power for me and I'm nervous. I need a stiff drink ;)
And to all my friends, if we're out and you feel like hookin a brotha up, I won't turn it down! I'll get you back at some point in the future, but not if I'm homeless and broke, which is where I'll be if I don't get my stuff STRAIGHT!
Oh and just so you all know, the whole 'exercise 3/week BEFORE work' thing flat out fell off the face of the Earth. I will be changing that to 'EXERCISE 3/WEEK whenever'. Hopefully without alcohol, getting up early will be easier, but we shall see.
I've been thinking about how to describe this little episode over the weekend; vacation? mental lapse? reward? when there is really only one thing to describe it as: IR-RE-F-ING-SPONSIBLE!!
I'm not going to catch up on the last weeks money spent and whatnot, because it's so tiny compared to what I spent over the course of 4 days. So here it is:
I spent about $477 from Friday night to Tuesday evening. Thanks to Marissa, this total was held short of $500 (she paid for a Starbucks and movie for me. Thanks ;) ).
Here's the rundown, and you won't want to miss what I'm going to do next!
| -70 | drinks and food |
| -111 | gambling |
| -18 | drinks |
| -7 | drinks |
| -20 | gas |
| -26 | drinks |
| -25 | food |
| -46 | golf |
| -20 | drinks |
| -17.5 | drinks |
| -3 | parking |
| -5 | parking |
| -20 | food |
| -53 | golf |
| -28 | drinks |
| -13 | food |
| 20 | R/b for drinks and food |
| -15 | drinks and food |
Yup. I went gambling. Yup, a lot of that is drinks. It's not that I haven't wanted to hit the casino since this thing has started, because I have, it's that it was 3:30 am after some drinks and good times with friends and I was feeling lucky. Oh, and I had ZERO will power! No excuse, but that's it plain and simple. DUMB!
About $200 of all that was spent on drinks too! How ridiculous! Granted, I had a great time this weekend, but at what cost? The interest on my student loans and credit cards?
Here it comes. Mom, you can stop worrying now.
I am not going to BUY one single drink of alcohol for at least August. wow...
Sounds so simple, yet I know it will be tough. I'm not giving up on it altogether, but I will not spend a dime on it for all of August. This isn't a goal either. It is a statement.
I'm sure you can think of other areas to save money, but my logic is this: I spend a lot of money on it, it's expensive and it makes me spend even more money. Simple.
I'd be lying if that were the only reason I'm doing this though. I've sat here doing this blog, thinking about all the things I want to do and should do and I've had, oh I'd say 'average' success with them. A few victories here, a few setbacks there. This is something that I know will be difficult beyond what I can even comprehend, which sounds so STUPID as I'm typing, but (double negative alert) if I can't NOT do something, what makes me think I can ADD MORE things TO do?
This will be an ultimate test of will power for me and I'm nervous. I need a stiff drink ;)
And to all my friends, if we're out and you feel like hookin a brotha up, I won't turn it down! I'll get you back at some point in the future, but not if I'm homeless and broke, which is where I'll be if I don't get my stuff STRAIGHT!
Oh and just so you all know, the whole 'exercise 3/week BEFORE work' thing flat out fell off the face of the Earth. I will be changing that to 'EXERCISE 3/WEEK whenever'. Hopefully without alcohol, getting up early will be easier, but we shall see.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Mad. Angry. Aggravated.
I'm annoyed and I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I haven't really let out all the emotions from letting Shilo go. I don't know if it's because I had to make the decision to put her down. I don't know if it's my current relationship situation. I don't know if it's my family situation (which I hear is spreading like a wild fire through the extended family. So hello everyone. Glad to have you) I don't know if it's my entire life. All I know is I want to fight someone and I'm just GRRJL;ADFJL;AFJL;DFALJK;.
Who knows, maybe I'm pregnant. Wish I could check my blood pressure right now.
Who knows, maybe I'm pregnant. Wish I could check my blood pressure right now.
Monday, July 20, 2009
blahg blahg blahg
My sister has a blog. She apparently wants everyone who has read and commented on MY blog to read HERS. Here's the link if you want to know her "side" and explanation of how she got where she is, or as I like to call it, excuse after excuse.
My opinion on it is that it's dull, pointless and misguided seeing as it states that there were some of you who wanted to help her. It's simply "defending" herself from the truths that I posted and is nothing towards moving forward in life except for thinking that all of you somehow have your own businesses and can/want to employ her or would even recommend anyone with no real work experience and knowing her history. Unfortunately for her, her reputation precedes her. Although it's progress to have a resume at all, it's wasted time, in my opinion, to post it to all of you.
It's also pointless towards the end where it justifies, I think, why she can't qualify for your tax dollars to help her, thank god. It's just excuse after excuse as to why OTHER people put her where she is now.
Heather! The only one responsible for you is YOU. Blaming your current situation on ex boyfriends/husbands/roommates and relying on others to get you a job, bail you out, fulfill promises, etc. is just passing on the responsibility. People get divorces. People have bad roommates. They don't run home and take advantage of their parents until their little brother speaks up and demands something happen. They may move home, but make it their priority to GET OUT or PAY RENT!
As far as jobs go, the only places that will hire you are ones that don't KNOW you. And you don't deserve anything as you have no work experience or education. You're 32 with ONE job that's lasted longer than a year. High school kids have more substantial resumes. Realize this. Minimum wage is all you should think you should deserve! Roughly $225/week after taxes! If you work nights and weekends you don't have to really worry about day care. So you're entire blog was pointless. If you want nights and weekends, as your resume states, pointing out that daycare is $150-200/week is pointless. And 4 days per week you can work two jobs since both mom and dad are around. Figure out what you can do and make it happen. Don't start creating your future excuses so you can continue on this path! Pointing out your future daycare costs and school appointments when your resume is stating that you don't even want to work during these times is just another way to create an excuse to why you can't do something. Why someone or something else is preventing you from doing it. That may be enough to convince mom and dad, but you're going to have to come up with more clever ways than that to get past me.
And don't get all high and mighty because you actually do some things for your kids like bathe them and feed them, because every time I'm there you act like you're off the clock and expect mom to do it. You even huff and puff when she doesn't. I don't care whether you try to defend this or not, it's true and you and everyone else knows it. I know, I know, I know, mom WANTS to do it or just does it, right? Wrong, you act like you need a break from your own kids (as evidenced in your blog post here), when you clearly state that you chose to have them. Sorry, you can't just "take a sick day" from your kids, nor should you want to.
I just hope this wasn't the entire "plan" that you and dad came up with. I pray it wasn't this shallow.
My opinion on it is that it's dull, pointless and misguided seeing as it states that there were some of you who wanted to help her. It's simply "defending" herself from the truths that I posted and is nothing towards moving forward in life except for thinking that all of you somehow have your own businesses and can/want to employ her or would even recommend anyone with no real work experience and knowing her history. Unfortunately for her, her reputation precedes her. Although it's progress to have a resume at all, it's wasted time, in my opinion, to post it to all of you.
It's also pointless towards the end where it justifies, I think, why she can't qualify for your tax dollars to help her, thank god. It's just excuse after excuse as to why OTHER people put her where she is now.
Heather! The only one responsible for you is YOU. Blaming your current situation on ex boyfriends/husbands/roommates and relying on others to get you a job, bail you out, fulfill promises, etc. is just passing on the responsibility. People get divorces. People have bad roommates. They don't run home and take advantage of their parents until their little brother speaks up and demands something happen. They may move home, but make it their priority to GET OUT or PAY RENT!
As far as jobs go, the only places that will hire you are ones that don't KNOW you. And you don't deserve anything as you have no work experience or education. You're 32 with ONE job that's lasted longer than a year. High school kids have more substantial resumes. Realize this. Minimum wage is all you should think you should deserve! Roughly $225/week after taxes! If you work nights and weekends you don't have to really worry about day care. So you're entire blog was pointless. If you want nights and weekends, as your resume states, pointing out that daycare is $150-200/week is pointless. And 4 days per week you can work two jobs since both mom and dad are around. Figure out what you can do and make it happen. Don't start creating your future excuses so you can continue on this path! Pointing out your future daycare costs and school appointments when your resume is stating that you don't even want to work during these times is just another way to create an excuse to why you can't do something. Why someone or something else is preventing you from doing it. That may be enough to convince mom and dad, but you're going to have to come up with more clever ways than that to get past me.
And don't get all high and mighty because you actually do some things for your kids like bathe them and feed them, because every time I'm there you act like you're off the clock and expect mom to do it. You even huff and puff when she doesn't. I don't care whether you try to defend this or not, it's true and you and everyone else knows it. I know, I know, I know, mom WANTS to do it or just does it, right? Wrong, you act like you need a break from your own kids (as evidenced in your blog post here), when you clearly state that you chose to have them. Sorry, you can't just "take a sick day" from your kids, nor should you want to.
I just hope this wasn't the entire "plan" that you and dad came up with. I pray it wasn't this shallow.
The week's financial update
Looks like through all the drama and whatnot I haven't posted about my budget. I know I haven't kept to it, but here's the skinny:
Tuesday: $1.32 (sandwich)
Wednesday: $11 on dinner at Islands
Thursday: I can't remember for the life of me
Friday: $16 on chipotle for dinner and $24 for the movies.
Saturday: $14 on In-n-out for lunch and on Taco bell for a 1am snack after a party
Sunday: I went golfing twice (2nd round paid courtesy of won bets from first round), then spent $40 on lunch for my dad and me, $24 on drinks, then $12 on chinese food and more later at the vet, but I'm not counting that.
Although this is doesn't fit my budget like I had planned, it's still 1000 x better than I used to be. Sunday was my real day of spending money, but I used to spend money like that two-three days at a time. Spending money is now in every decision I make and I am happy with that. The good thing is, the Sam's club purchase I made that was supposed to at least last until yesterday, is still around. I still have a lot of chicken and ground beef as well as stuff for my sandwiches, so I can make up for the money I spent in the last week and today.
Today I have spent $25 on lunch with Jim so far (olive garden). I know I'll have $5 for parking tonight for my dance class and maybe a bottle of water or two.
Tuesday: $1.32 (sandwich)
Wednesday: $11 on dinner at Islands
Thursday: I can't remember for the life of me
Friday: $16 on chipotle for dinner and $24 for the movies.
Saturday: $14 on In-n-out for lunch and on Taco bell for a 1am snack after a party
Sunday: I went golfing twice (2nd round paid courtesy of won bets from first round), then spent $40 on lunch for my dad and me, $24 on drinks, then $12 on chinese food and more later at the vet, but I'm not counting that.
Although this is doesn't fit my budget like I had planned, it's still 1000 x better than I used to be. Sunday was my real day of spending money, but I used to spend money like that two-three days at a time. Spending money is now in every decision I make and I am happy with that. The good thing is, the Sam's club purchase I made that was supposed to at least last until yesterday, is still around. I still have a lot of chicken and ground beef as well as stuff for my sandwiches, so I can make up for the money I spent in the last week and today.
Today I have spent $25 on lunch with Jim so far (olive garden). I know I'll have $5 for parking tonight for my dance class and maybe a bottle of water or two.
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