long overdue

Time for an update I'm sure! Im hoping back on the blog train, but this time I'm probably going to be spending more time on my business. I think I'm ready to make it grow now. Don't worry, I'll still be here updating my personal progress!

SUCK!

I feel terrible. Mentally. I have felt anxiety for about a month now, and I don't know why. I feel like I'm better off financially, mentally, physically, yet I still feel short of breath and my heart is racing all day. I don't like it. I feel depressed almost, as I am unmotivated and nervous all the time. I can't put my finger on it either. I'm thinking about finding a psychologist. I want someone to talk to about me, who can give me some OUTSIDE interpretation about MY actual feelings, without knowing history and whatnot. I almost feel like I just need to (as gay as this sounds) sit in my room and weep for an hour or something.

So, just so you all know, this is the reason I haven't posted in like a week. That and Thursday and Saturday were long days with the Alan Jackson concert and UFC fight. Oh and last night was a long night with a plumber that cost me $360.

So that's all for now. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. OH! And I'm also not looking for some sort of "aww kyle im sorry...etc." I just put this post as part of my goal of expressing my feelings when I have them.

WDYD 8/5

Today I spent $8 for In-N-Out at lunch! It was amazing! I made brown sugar and cinnamon blueberry pancakes for dinner with eggs and apple juice I got yesterday for dinner. Kept me below my $10/day budget. I also got up this morning and ate my delicious cereal on the front porch and enjoyed 10 minutes of the morning before work. So today, I enjoyed life and the little things, and appreciated the things that I have! Life is good!

Time to go watch a movie or crash! G'night y'all!

WDYD 8/4/09

Today I mowed the front and back yard, cut most of the Jasmine Ivy off the front porch, watered the lawns, got a car wash and went to the grocery store. I got some breakfast stuff at the grocery store, and I can't WAIT to eat it tomorrow. AND IT'S ONLY CEREAL!! Thanks to Dave, I bought cereal and blueberries and raspberries and bananas for breakfast! MMMM I also played volleyball for 3.5 hours.

So I worked on one of my goals (nursing the house), made it through day 4 of not purchasing alcohol, and I've had 3 situations where I would have normally purchased a few drinks, and exercised! I didn't stick to the budget, as I spent $15 on dinner,which I pretty much always do. I spent $35 at the grocery store, but that stuff will average out to a dollar here and there over the course of using it.

Today was a great day, and as I stated in my post earlier, I'm feeling great about life. However, I do have a pessimistic side saying that life is too good, and something crappy is going to happen soon. I know it's terrible to think like that, but whatever, it's up there. I'm going to relax for a bit now and hit the hay! Tomorrow I will improve what I started today (nursing the house)!!

Quality of life is improving!

I've been doing this blog now for just under 2 months. In the last week or so, I've really started to enjoy life more. There are still stresses, but they are more manageable. I've also begun to enjoy silly little things like breezes and the weather in general.

Today I was mowing the lawn, and although it was hot, I somehow enjoyed it. This was very odd because I hate mowing the lawn. Maybe it's the satisfaction I get from seeing the before and after. Maybe it's because I enjoyed being outside and it was peaceful. Maybe it's that I'm finally noticing the positive things instead of constantly complaining that I have to 'do work.' Who knows? Whatever it is, I love it and I hope it continues!

WDYD x 3

Saturday: I ate dinner at home, using my sam's club purchases ($2.36 worth) and I spent $5 at cowboy country. I didn't buy any alcohol. So I stuck to my budget and I resisted buying a drink!

Sunday: I enjoyed the day to the fullest, and only spent $9 on ice cream for two. Oh crap! I made sandwiches and dinner using Sam's club purchases $5.72. Crap crap crap. So i dont have a clue what i did today to make my life better.

Monday: Today i played golf twice. Two rounds and lunch at islands cost me $70. I don't normally count golf in this whole thing, but that was an amazing value for my day. I did do some deep thinking while talking to a friend though. Came up with this:

See tomorrow as an opportunity to improve what you started today, not as a day to start what you were going to do yesterday.

It plays into this whole WDYD thing. I need to start thinking about what I'm GOING to do to improve my life each day, so I don't find myself at 11:57 pm replaying the day only to find out I didn't do crap!

oh wait, something good did come out of today. My second round of golf had a bet and it wasn't monetary! Scott and I bet that the loser had to pass out our business flyers by next monday! I WON! I at least hope it's overcast for the poor guy!

I've also noticed that I tend to go a week, then update this on a Monday, and I need to get back into posting daily! More to come manana!

WDYD?

What did I do yesterday to improve my life? I didn't spend a dime! I went home and watered the lawn, made some grilled cheese sandwiches. Sorry, made the BEST grilled cheese sandwiches EVER! And I stayed in for the night. I guess I did spend SOME money, as the cheese and the bread was from that Sam's club trip. I'm guessing the total was around $0.90. Maybe I should go online on days like this, and spend my remaining $10/day towards a debt. I mean, it's free billpay, so who cares if I have a $9 today, $5 tomorrow, $10 the next, as it all adds up! Did I just come up with a great idea?