The process of accomplishing a goal is > the goal

(please read till the end)
Friday, June 12, 2009 I posted on that old blog of mine my first post. It was about money and debt. 

April 2013 i finally gained the courage and responsibility to cancel all (5) of my credit cards and started a debt management plan through Consumer Credit Counseling Services of San Francisco (non-profit, government backed, small fee to handle it all).

I had $16,552 in CC debt plus about $3,000 in IRS debt. It was a 5 year program. I was proud for taking the step, but still felt like 5 years was a lifetime.

January 2014 I went through a Tony Robbins CD program that flipped my world around (I can let you use it if you want) and changed a lot of things in my life by taking massive action. Mostly, I focused on paying that debt down to the best of my ability to free myself of that pain. Anyone who has experienced financial difficulty and stress may say that worrying about money may be the worst fear and anxiety one could encounter. Not to mention the effects it has on one's ego. Saying you don't have money, you can't go out, you are "busy" that weekend all because you have $19 in your account and are ashamed. 

I had said a lot of really negative things about myself internally at that time. I shared some of that with some of you, but nobody really knew the pain I was struggling with. I also said it wasn't fair and actually believed it. The truth was that I was just uneducated and had bad practices and went through life unconsciously when it came to money. I was reactive instead of proactive.

With the new practices I created, such as facing the truth and checking my account every single day and know exactly how much I had, where I spent it, and getting honest with myself about why I spent it, if it was worth it, and forgiving myself for poor decisions vs. dwelling and punishing myself, I have great and empowering news today.

After only 2 years and 5 months in the 5 year program, nearly $20,000 in debt is officially gone today!!! 

I could have done it about 2 months ago, but this last card still had 0% interest so it wasn't costing me anything (something I would have never understood about 3 years ago...interest). I'm proud of myself. I still struggle with negative thoughts on frivolous spending, but am much better at quickly forgiving myself and using it to learn. 

Now, the purpose. The purpose of this post is not to brag about what I have accomplished. Not to gain praise. Nothing like that. My purpose for sharing is that someone may find hope and understanding in this situation and the process of setting goals.

Too often I hear people upset about how long it's taking to accomplish a goal. Too often people accomplish the goal and are left unsatisfied. Too often people are so blinded by the outcome and the problems to understand what is truly important. Here's what I believe.

The purpose of a goal is not the achievement of the goal, it's what you become in the process. Mental health is the goal. Being kind to yourself and learning from the process. This is where the true happiness and achievement come. The feel-good of achieving the goal is momentary. That's why we achieve and move right on to the next goal a day, a week, a month later. HOWEVER, the feel-good of becoming a smarter, stronger, mentally healthier person lasts forever. It is what gives you the wisdom that comes with age. Life university. Where you can talk about it to others and inspire and educate.

So I urge everyone reading this to shift your focus from the goal, to what you're learning in the process of its attainment. Which roads worked, which didn't. How you treated yourself for taking the wrong road. How quickly you forgave yourself. IF you forgave yourself. Forgive yourself. Nothing comes from punishing yourself; it's like setting up your own road blocks then getting upset they're there. 

Or if you've recently accomplished something, recap what you learned in the process. It's much more fulfilling. It'll make you much more patient for the outcome of the next goal because there's SO much to learn along the way. Focus on this. I promise you'll become a much healthier person. 

And if you want my help or guidance with how to handle mental health, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. It's my passion and I know how painful it is to be in a mental place where you're not kind to yourself. 

Live and Love Consciously
Kyle