The Weather

The Weather. There are so many bigger issues to deal with, but somehow, it rules our lives.

It awakens us.

Waking up to a sunny day brings good thoughts and great memories. It feeds cravings. Once a sunny day is experienced, there’s nothing that’s craved more. We wake up each day, hoping the sun is there. It’s impossible to be down on a sunny day.

A gloomy day starts us on the wrong foot. The feeling of disappointment is immediate, yet tolerable. The day must go on, so we go through the motions with a mild disgust. We hope the gloom will turn into something better, like a sunny day, but sometimes our mood only sees the looming thunderstorm.

The thunderstorm both frightens us and gives a sense of loneliness. It makes us crave that sunny day. It makes us think that a gloomy day isn’t all that bad. We can’t sleep during a thunderstorm. However, if you’ve experienced a sunny day, it can help get you through the thunderstorm.

It dictates our lives.

It dictates what we wear; when it’s sunny, we bare all. When it’s gloomy, we start to cover up. When it’s a thunderstorm, we’re hidden beneath layers of protection.

It dictates what we do. When it’s sunny we do things we’ve never done, and even if it turns out terrible, it doesn’t matter because you’ve still got the sun. When it’s gloomy there is still plenty to do, but we just don’t feel like it. When it’s a thunderstorm, we bask in nothingness.

It dictates the mood. When it’s sunny, there’s nothing but happiness and delight. Our minds are swirling with all the things that make us happy. The warmth of the sun on our skin, the deep breaths and smells that calm us, the beauty of everything we see. When it’s gloomy, there’s bitterness and discomfort. We can think of positive things, but it’s like we’re trapped in limbo and can’t make the commitment, because we don’t know if it’s going to turn into a sunny day, a thunderstorm, or just stay gloomy. When it’s a thunderstorm, there’s loneliness and depression. We think of things we would never think about on a sunny day. What if I get stuck in this thunderstorm forever, and never feel the sun. What if something tragic happened, who would show up and how would they feel. Sometimes the thunderstorm leaves permanent, unseen damage.

The unfortunate part about the weather is, it keeps coming and you never know what it’s going to be or how long you’ll have to wait to have a permanent sunny day. Until then, we take the gloom and the thunderstorms and learn how to find the hidden rays of sun in each.

I’ve had about a year of the most beautiful, life changing sunny days I’ll ever experience, and I will hold on to that until it comes again, as vicious as this thunderstorm is.